fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
