I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
