you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize