have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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