You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
