i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
