I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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