omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just want nice things and good sex
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
