rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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