Im at strip club and am horny
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Randomize
