We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
