how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
