STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
