i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
