Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
