I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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