the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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