Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
