in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
