very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
it was like having sex with a tree stump
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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