you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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