you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We left an ass print on the piano.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
