the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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