Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

She was lying the whole time!

(310): View more from California

She was a great actress

(248): View more from Michigan

I was a great dumbass

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(305): View more from Florida

He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.

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(650): View more from California

Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers

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(972): View more from Texas

You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.

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(520): View more from Arizona

you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!

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(310): View more from California

That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.

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