i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The beers last night were like the tears from god
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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