He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
