It's Friday. Sex?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
