I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
