Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
