I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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