i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize