hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
i now understand why vodka
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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