Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
love makes seman taste better
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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