Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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