How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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