Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
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