It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
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