I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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