Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize