Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
