Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
