she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
