standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
