elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Randomize