You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
it glows. i had to have it.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
