Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Is this like a preordered booty call?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
