the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
