your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
