i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
