Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
