i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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