At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
