I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Randomize
