He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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