Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
