My hair reeks of homosexuality.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
