a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
