I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Can't talk, ducks in the car
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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