Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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