.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Randomize
