3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
