My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
