I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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